Hi my dear..

..How are you ?
..Are you fine ?
..Everything works out ?

Please dear.. dont worry that i still write you...

After all it seems you have left a warm & gentle feeling in my heart and mind - and I am thankful for these nice memories you gifted..

Joe and I are ok so far... I slept two nights in the pastoral house next to the church, hiding myself, while he went out for prayers..sometimes I wondered, if people down there in the marcetplace would at all belive, that I exist here...nobody ever saw me with conscience......and they will never get to know what it takes from "their" priest (and their "wifes") to lead a minimum of private life...how hard it can be sometimes....true dear...slowly, slowly I realize what I am doing with myself dear...and sometimes i am about to collaps inside...that´s what I really start to see: if our encounter brought somehting for me besides nice memories, it is some quality of silent awareness dear.....................life is so beautyful dear.

..but what to do, i dont really have another solution right now...and somehow I still love him ...I am just glad that he is safe here now. You know, in the very last half year before we managed to bring him to Europe, he lived in Orissa in northindia. Fanatic Hindus started persecution on christian churchworkers...you can read that in the internet. They really killed people. He lived in a small house in the fields, and tried to barricade the doors and windows with wood. But in the end he flead to live unknown in another village 300 km far away until his visum reached..

Now he is here; and we will try to start seriously this year for a baby... it is not allowed in Germany, but somehow I have found ways... and money.. and I still hope deeply for a small Joelie..

take good care of you dear...
I will keep our days inside..


I


" All you can, all you can
you gotta take this life and live it
all you can, all you can
and never let it go
'cause there´s one thing in this life I understand

Siamo noi, siamo noi
che abbiamo ancora voglia di stupire noi
siamo noi
la teniamo sempre accesa
quest'ansia leggerissima che abbiamo un po'
di vivere la vita piú che puoi.."