Dear Steve

I have no idea, when you will read this.. or if you will ever do - but i just have the feeling that I want to write that..

I don’t know really what is up with me these days, but it seems you have mixed me up a little. Maybe I am little slowlier than you, which should not at all mean, that I didn’t enjoy it being together with you…but really… these few moments were one of the best somebody could have...and I really, really want to thank you for it.. after all I noticed, that it was just too short. Anyway ..I should not have send you away..

It’s a little weird feeling now to walk through these streets alone with these hughe buildings – the shops with travel-luggage, or little speakers - and I get more the impression, that my stay in Hongkong is already over - even though there is more than another week to stay…please just come back with me to temple street …and let us continue to make nonsense. It was really sooo nice.. :-)))

That evening on Tuesday when you left, we only came back from china by 1 am in the night.
It took 4 ½ hours (one way) to reach that company. But it was really interesting, since I love it to get to know the “real” things... This factory was maybe one of these typical “made-in-china-factories” without ANY european influence like from our company.
…Rubbish lying around everywhere, the whole meeting only in chinese language with maybe 10 of these chinese communistic faces, (goldsmiths, chef, secretary) and these very simple technics and workingplaces…cheapest products. The whole day no word English, lunch in one of these dirty restaurants on the countryside with sticky red covers upon the table…. and toilets with a hole in the ground without any paper...haaaaa ;-) (which is fine for holidays, but little strange with office dress...) And then we drove back by jeep, by bus, by taxi, everybody started to sleep. I was sooooo deadly tired ... and at the chinese custom they started to scan me. I still had some gold jewellery in my PC-bag that I forgot inside already in germany…. Uiiiiii…

It was strange to come back that evening dear... I don’t want to create a more weird feeling than needed, but it was as if a spirit had gone…and today after 4 days…i started to struggle a little somehow. Cannot really explain. I am totally aware about your life and there is no reason to create it wrong...I have no idea about that. But it was just toooo beautiful with you.

I simply wanted to walk back to the places. The bridge with habourview, starbucks coffee..dont ask me what is up today with me… I started to see your sons´video once again to find your face in his face. And there is really one scene, where I could see you… it just made me smile.

Please don’t believe I am crazy. No idea what is up.. maybe I simply want to sit here and spend one of these moments with you once again. Don’t think that I spy you, when I tell you I searched for you. Don’t think I become a problem for you. I will never be..


Tuesday 27th April, the week after …

Hi dear..
Don’t ask me why I write you again. I simply don’t know that..
…maybe you have become a “holy ghost” for my trip - and in a way you still are around me until I will leave this chinese soil.. haaaa… (if you are really my guardian angel these days, then you are a real friendly one, that I can still feel smiling upon me.. thank you ) …don’t worry dear… I am not a stalker.. I am not crazy.. don’t be worried…even if I was courious to find you - since I don’t really wanted to imagine never to see you again… Maybe you have simply be my true companion these days..

Last Sunday my working colleague came, and this trip changed into stress… from breakfast until night. Sometimes when she cannot stop talking during breakfast, I secretly look up to these glass-lifts... like last Tuesday morning…but naja dear… they are just hanging there & keep silent.... :-/ (in contrary to you)……

Originally I should go to china again, but there are too many things to organise and rush, that I still sit here in Hongkong ...and now I sit again opposite of “Sticky Fingers “ with my wine.... naja….let “sti(n)ky fingers” become a memorial..… haaaaaa….

And you know what is funny ..on Sunday I found a mail from my working colleague, where I was only set on copy only…where they introduced me officially as their “Design- & Productmanager of XXXXX” … funny that nobody talked to me officially… but it’s a job… better than without one… otherwise I would think too much about Option one.. harrharrharr.. 

I guess I stop better here… otherwise you think I have nothing else to do …

Take care dear
I am sure we will be friends for long years.

your
Me



Wednesday, 28.4.

Hi sweet.. just if you want here a chance call this no in UK 01617002727 (local rate) and you will get computer voice.. she asks you to dial wanted number.. its for manchester callingrate only. rest is free. if you dont want.. same happens as you told already, this message destroyes itself same as the author..


Wednesdayevening

Dear..

Sorry that I write once again here...I shortly sat at the dining table on my own in the restaurant, when your message arrived. I myself wondered abut my reaction, when reading it - since I was clear about the very beginning, that I didn’t search or wanted any adventure. It is too easy to destroy something, but you will mostly not gain back something similar precious.

Nevertheless I had to swallow a little.. maybe little too much…and I wonder about myself about my reaction on it, since I never had any idea about anything more.. you know that… Indeed, maybe you managed it to give me some of these very good old feelings back, that I desperately tried to avoid last years for my own protection..or penalty...

Just please don’t feel so guilty. There was not at all anything wrong. Things like that happen to everybody nowadays – but we both managed to keep our values upright.. in comparison to others...therefore we should better feel GOOD instead of guilty. Don’t let yourself chase from anybody because of this. Also not from any person around you. Some persons are able to create a feeling of guilt or pressure inside of us due to their personality - although there is no reason at all.dont let them chase you.

Let us calm down and see clear again dear. Let me come back to my home and down on earth too.. I will go back to my priest and you to your family…things like this simply belong to a life too.


I will keep quiet now for a longer time for your better feeling
but In spirit I will always put a warm smile around you to keep you warm…

Take good care of you dear..

Me

PS: ..this is my second sweet little love, so dont worry about me ;-) ..good night dear..

PPS: I have checked out this morning and leave for another day to office now dear. At midnight i will take of. Thank you for everything dear..........................................
........................................................................... and take very good care of you please...XXX :-)